Wednesday, August 09, 2006

You just don't get it, do you?

The rumor sites, I mean. I really messed it up for you guys big this time, right? Its so much fun being the Grand Master - everytime you think you predicted something right, I just go and change it to piss you guys off and make you look like a bunch of friggin idiots. And I can do that right up until the last second before the keynote, okay? It's like, come on, did you never once think that the reason you get it wrong so many times is just because I decide to keep this stuff away from you for that little bit longer? It's like teasing a dog with some bacon, for Pete's sake. It costs a lot of money to be secretive in this business, and I don't like people messing with that.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

So Woz calls

And he starts on about the event yesterday. He's like, Uh, Steve, hi, yeah I was pretty pissed that I didn't get a free Mac Pro yesterday. I was like Woz, come on, I mean, I still give you a salary man for you to do nothing. I still give you an honorary pass to the WWDC and Expo's every year. Do you think this company runs itself? Who runs this machine now, eh? Like, you packed up your shit long ago and now you come to me like this cos you didn't get a Mac Pro. I pay for your ventures to the South Pole dude, seriously. You can pick up your Mac this afternoon, bro.

So it wasn't enough...

Apparently some people aren't too happy about the lack of products we introduced yesterday. Well I say, screw them. You wanna see all the features of Leopard? So Redmond can just copy our ass today and release Vista tomorrow *laughs*? Of course, they wouldn't copy us and release our features in Vista tomorrow. They would copy us and release our features in Vienna in 5 years from now. Seriously though, don't you people understand how hard it was to complete our transition in 210 days (even though the XServe's wont ship for another 3 months)? Well, let me tell you, it was hard. I mean, not for me, but for the other guys, you know, the clever ones. Though it was hard for me when I had to fire that guy for trying to get in the same elevator as me. I mean, when I'm around, the elevator is mine, for some Zen time in between work.

We've got lots more stuff coming to you people who thought yesterday sucked. Did I mention how we've got so much more to show you in Leopard. This is just the tip of one large-ass iceberg baby, oh yeah, just the tip of the biggest, meanest damn iceberg ever.